"I contemplated putting [my daughter] Jodie in the car and driving off the George Washington Bridge was preferable to putting her into one of those schools. [for autistic children]"-Allison Tepper-Singer, Autism Speaks
Fortunately for Jodie, her mother only thought it and didn't act on it. Saying it in front of her was in pretty poor taste, but that's not what this page is about.
This page is about a beautiful little girl who's life was taken too soon. This beautiful little girl:
Meet Katie McCarron. She was 3 years old. Her mother, 10 days after being reunited with this treasure of a child, put a plastic bag over her head and suffocated her. This is the unspeakable: child murder. But this isn't about the killer, this is about Katie.
Katie McCarron was a loved child. She had a father and grandmother who relocated to get her the best education, and a grandfather who clearly adored her, based on his remarks online. His words do Katie more justice than anything I could say, so here they are:
On the defense of the murderer: "I too am fed up with the comments from "advocacy" spokespersons. How can people pretending to represent the good of children with autism ignore the murder of a beautiful and dear little child.?When I see the lead in line "I don't approve of murder; but…" I just have to buckle my seat belt because I know, here it comes. The advocate goes on to virtually admit it is OK, or understandable because Katie had autism. If these people are "advocates" for people with autism I can't imagine what the "opponents" must be like."
On the exploitation of Katie's death: "When a small child is murdered, I don't blame the social system or any disability. I blame the killer. When the so-called "advocates" who have never laid eyes on Katie show up to use her death as a plank in their platform I get angry.
When they start using a disability as an excuse for murder and say it is understandable, I go well beyond anger.
On the "ending pain" excuse: "I would like to say something about Katie. Some newspapers have reported that this was done to end Katie's pain; let me assure you that "Katie was not in pain". She was a beautiful, precious and happy little girl. Each day she was showered with love and returned that love with hugs, kisses and laughter."
On the pressure on caretakers: "When these "advocates" speak of the pressure that a care giver is under 24×7, I don't disagree with that. But my son and my wife were Katie's care givers for the past 20 months while Katie attend a special school in North Carolina. They not only held up to that pressure but they treasure every moment they had with Katie and are devasted by her loss. Since they lived it and loved it how can anyone use that pressure as an excuse."
On what Katie was really like: "Katie loved music; she would fill in some of the words in children's songs as my wife would sing along with the CD that would be playing, their own version of "karaoke" . She liked to dance, she loved to do the "hooky poky". She loved being in among flowers and tall grass. She would say "I like grass". She enjoyed the zoo and because of all of the drills and flashcards she could identify the animals. Which I thought was pretty amazing for such a young child. She was also the only little child in her non-autistic play group that could identify an octagon. My wife and son had a party for her the day they heard that from the teacher.
And: "Katie loved the park, the swings, the slides and being outside. She played with her dolls and toys; she loved "teletubbies" and brought joy to all of those that had actual contact with her. Yes, she was autistic. Developmentally she was behind other children. But her small victories would create unbelievable joy for those who loved her. I can not describe the ecstasy of having her little arms around my neck or of watching her and my son roll around on the floor playing in shear happiness."
On Katie's little-girl-ness: "She enjoyed having her grandmother dress her in new little outfits and dresses, and I think this is important.... Katie was first and foremost a little girl, she enjoyed people making a big fuss over how pretty she looked. My wife would take her to the beauty shop to have her hair trimmed. Katie enjoyed going to the mall and looking in all of the stores and windows. These are female things.
Dear Katie,
Sadly I never got to meet you and tell you this. You are a beautiful, wonderful child who deserves to be loved and cherished. Your mother doesn't know what she's missing. Mom and Dad might talk about you like you aren't there, and they say the word "autism" like it burns. But you know it doesn't burn.
The reason that snowflakes are so fascinating, that the world is too loud sometimes, that swinging, spinning, rocking are pure joy are wrapped up in that word. Autism. There are a lot of people like you, some are kids and some are adults, who know that autism doesn't burn. Who know that our world is a beautiful one. To be autistic is a lovely thing.
Since your Mom didn't know, and didn't ask, she thought autism hurt. She thought it hurt her, but it didn't have to. Your mom chose to kill you because of autism. This makes a lot of autistic adults and parents of kids just like you very angry. We are mad at your mom, and we are mad about you, but we aren't mad at you. It can be hard to tell.
Katie, I am sad that I lived so close to you and never got to meet you, spin together, jump on a trampoline. I am sad that you didn't get to go to school, learn what you're good at and what's harder, meet other kids like you. I am sad that in 17 or 18 years I won't be meeting you at a place where there are a whole bunch of people like us-people who know the beautiful autistic world. I am sad that I know more about your mother than I do about you.
Dear Katie McCarron, the world misses you and has cried many tears for you. May you gather them up and hold them to the sun, enjoying the rainbow sparkle.
With love,
Kassiane
As I cannot do justice to this loss with my words, I again quote Mr. McCarron, who had the joy of loving this precious child:
Just how loved Katie was: "Each day I ask the Lord if I could take her place, and perhaps He could return Katie to the loving arms of my son and my wife. So far that prayer has not been granted. But in the meantime I can assure you that no one will describe her murder as "understandable" or devalue her in anyway without my personal challenge to them and the organizations they represent.
On how the family wants Katie remembered: "I hope that black arm bands are not adopted. Katie was a joyful little girl, please remember her with a smile and a prayer."
Thank you, Mr. McCarron, for sharing your love of your dear granddaughter with us. I should hope there are more grandfathers like you out there.
The McCarron family invites people who want to keep Katie's memory alive to download these images and post them on their own websites and blogs. They (and we)only ask they be used in remembering Katie as a beautiful, precious?and happy little girl. They do not approve of the use of these pictures as part of a message suggesting in any way that she was in pain or that she was a burden. They also don't want them used in any that suggests her death in any way is associated with a "problem" with lack of services. Using Katie's pictures in these ways would be an insult to Katie's memory and cause more pain to an already grieving family.